Photo via Wedding Journal Online
Hi Gala Pals! It’s been a crazy fall so far. We hope you are balancing life and wedding planning well. If you aren’t, that’s okay. We understand that things can get pretty tense, especially when you’re already living with your intended (interrupting Netflix marathons with seating charts is ill-advised). Chances are that you may have already started fighting about wedding planning. Here’s our best advice on how to survive the struggle and come out on the other side happily married:
Give Each Other Space
Since you’re planning a wedding, you might be more than a little stressed. Obviously, that can lead to fighting. Once you’ve had your fight, it’s best to give the each other space to decompress and think. Go hang out with a friend, vent to an impartial third party. Just give each other a moment to pick up the pieces.
Step Back and Evaluate The Situation
What is this fight actually about? Is it really about the venue or the centerpieces? Or is it about your partner not feeling heard? Take some time to assess what is really going on between the two of you.
Don’t Assume It’s All Them
Again — you’re probably stressed and may have been kind of a jerk (I speak from experience) about the cocktail hour. During a fight, it is natural to want to defend your stance. You may want to blame them if you argued about something you’re very passionate about, like a tradition one of you may want to follow. If you look inward, you may find that you got angry and blew up at your partner with very little provocation.
Don’t Assume It’s All You
The above paragraph? Yeah, that applies to your partner, too. Don’t try to shoulder all the blame for a quick solution.
This might involve either a) apologizing and compromising on things you really want out of the wedding, or b) letting your partner do the former, or c) agree to disagree and make allowances for whatever caused the problem. A lot of these options involve BOTH OF YOU being accommodating when you don’t really feel like it, especially if it’s a tense subject. Make sure you are both taking each other’s feelings into account.
Remember What is Truly Important
You love each other. You’re going to get through this. Don’t let the little things get in the way of the big picture. If wedding planning is causing several fights? Seriously consider eloping.
Yes. We said it. Elope.
You will save a lot of heartache if wedding planning is really causing that kind of rift between you. Moreover, you can spend all the extra money on a sweet, romantic honeymoon (and probably a down payment on a house if you were planning to go big). The intimacy of an elopement may be just what you need after a tumultuous planning process. And yes, you can still plan an elopement.
How is your planning process going? Let us know in the comments!